Alone on Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone! :) I hope you had a great one and got lots of good gifts!

So this was my first Christmas alone in over 5 years. It's quite an interesting feeling. It's a mixed bag actually. On one hand, I was quite sad and dare I say, a little depressed that I don't have someone. But on the other hand, I was quite happy spending a lot of time with my family and nephew and niece. It's almost as if I lost one person to love, but gained two little ones that I love sooo dearly. Then I went back to depression after they leave because I'm left thinking..."will I ever have a family of my own?"

But...it's almost a new year right? I'm going to start my new year right. I have new goals and aspirations and for once...A PLAN!!! A plan you might ask? Well more of a financial and career plan. Or maybe they are considered more like deadlines? I don't know what category they would really fit under, but I have something at least. And I'm not going to let love drive my life. I am embracing the new thoughts of, if and when it happens, great...but I'm not gonna pursue it like I have in the past. That only led to me going crazy and doubting my feelings and blah! haha.

So I now welcome 2008 with an open mind and hopefully a closed wallet! ahaha! Waialae Iki...here I come! :)